Just for clarification--no, I'm not getting married; nor anything near it.
My possible new blog that I am thinking of creating is a commentary on relationships and things I learn about in school. It's basically and effort to help me to do better in school. Because the more I discuss the things I learn, the more proficient at them I become.
But as for now--I have yet to do it, but I will let you know if I do.
It's a new year!
There are obviously things I would like to change in my life and I think the new year is a great time to make new resolutions and goals.
I had a whole paragraph I wanted to go into about goals and life--but I'm just not feeling it tonight.
But I would like to say. I went snowboarding! And it is amazing. I can't believe I waited 4 years at BYU before I went. Though it's probably a good thing; because if I had learned to love skiing/snowboarding I am 100% positive I would never have left McCall and come back to school.
I am taking a ski class at BYU (we go to Sundance from 12-5 every Tuesday) which means I also have the same time off class on Thursday--which means more boarding for me!
I have made it a goal to on Tuesday and Thursday both--but never to ditch class to go. I have been 4 times this year. When I went on Jan 1 with some friends from my ward I though I was making a big mistake taking the class. Odd--I had the same thought my very first day of training when I was rafting.
My last thought for the night comes from some facebook correspondence I've been having with some random kayaker chic from Purdue. (She randomly came across my page from a friend of a friend somehow and sent me a message) Our conversation starting with rafting, but quickly evolved into this deep relationship oriented discussion. Which I seem to bring that out in everyone I talk to. I know speaking of past relationship is a big taboo on dates (early dates especially) but it is something I also get a girl to do. Minus one, but she frustrates me on more than one level. Anyway-- one particular thing she said, of which I am curious to hear some response to... She said, "As women we love to be pursued..."
Actually upon re-reading her email, I think the whole paragraph needs to be included.
"A large proponent of a successful relationship is the pursuit. As women we love to be pursued by our significant other. It’s the engrained fairy tale story from when we were children. This starts from the initial meeting and continues usually all the way until marriage. After a year or two people become lazy and forget that primal need, to be pursued, to feel needed, to feel special, to be desired, to feel intense passion for someone. I believe that both men and women have these needs just a different levels. Sometimes the pursuit is lost earlier, before marriage. This is an indicator that a person is not ready for what I like to call commitment."
The Pursuit.
I like that. When I write my book on relationships I'm going to dedicate a chapter to 'The Pursuit' and maybe more.
There is a lot of truth, well stated, in that wanting to be pursued--but one must realize that there is also a need to catch as well.
Family Pictures 2023 - Tony Grove
8 months ago
3 comments:
After what you told me yesterday, I was ready to argue with anything she said. However, that I mostly agree with. There's a scene in Runaway Bride where Julia Roberts and her friend talk about her flirting with the friend's husband and the friend says something along the lines of the fact that married women are no longer mysterious to their husbands, they're just weird. There is something to be said for feeling like a catch even after you've looked and acted your worst around someone (and that's true for men and women).
I whole heartedly agree that women love to be pursued. However, the problem comes because of the fact that it is a growing thought among men that they also want to be pursued. I cannot tell you how many men I know who break up with a girl or don't go after a girl claim it was because they didn't want to have to "go after" her or because she was not readily available or even because they did not feel that she was doing her part to pursue them.
So what happens when both men and women have a desire to be pursued by their spouses? The 21st century happens. When marriage becomes more and more delayed- and almost becomes more a product of convenience and "giving up" on trying or wanting to be chased and divorce becomes rampant.
Hmmm, I dunno about that. It's probably true for many women, but I ALWAYS bristle at the phrase "We as women" because it assumes all of our life experiences and perspectives are the same. Spoiler alert: women are individuals! It's kind of shocking for most people (especially women) to realize we're not all alike. Personally, I like to be accompanied rather than pursued. I prefer a companion to a suitor.
Post a Comment