Thursday, September 24, 2009

One Ring to Rule Them All.

The title and topic of most of this post refers to my Forming Marital Relationships' class discussions this week.

But before I get into that, I have several comments:

1. I was called a slut this week. First time in my life. It was an interesting experience. But apparent proof that my experiment at being more social this semester is working; perhaps too well.

2. I find it is, indeed, addicting playing with a yearly budget and making my finances work into it; or rather wanting to pull my hair out because I don't know how they will. Either way--it's nice when the debt monster is no longer giving me an ulcer.


Anyway-- I absolutely love my classes this semester AND I'm doing all my homework/reading/attending classes. The latter being a huge deal for me; and also part of my little experiment. Though one of my favorites is the Forming Marital Relationship class; solely because of the discussion that we have in the class. Which reminds me of my third comment:

3. I was called a conservative for my beliefs on marriage. Especially funny for anyone that has had a discussion with me in my adult life. And even more funny because I don't see how views on the prerequisites for marriage or either conservative or liberal.

Back to my class. This week we've been talking about committing to a relationship. My professor consistently states, "There is something to be said about the commitment and dedication needed and shown by people who stay married; despite their difficulties." I don't disagree. All relationship require dedication and commitment--if they are going to last.

Where I do start to disagree with my professor is when he says it is a lot of work to stay married to someone you don't get along with. That doing good to those that hate you and spitefully use you isn't referring to your enemies, but to your spouse.

Are there are times where this is the case; of course. Should this be the norm? I sure as hell hope not. If it is; then an eternity with someone I don't get along with sure sounds a lot like hell and very little like heaven.

It is interesting to me and worth noting, that along with ever major technological and religious revolution the world changes--and with it, either because it is a factor of this change or a result. so do our relationships. The changes in the last 50 years have been the spread of secularism in our country, and obviously computers. Communications would be a third huge change, though at this point communication and computers are practically the same. Basically the spread of computers (tv, cell phones, internet) drastically reduce our family time. In fact, the amount of time spent together, and solely together, as a couple has gone down 2 standard deviations since 1980.

What did people do before T.V.? They talked and told stories. Why do I love being stuck in Riggins Idaho for 3+ months every year. There is no T.V. We read, we tell storied. We really get to know each other. That why I have met some of my best friends there. Especially on over night trips. You are trapped on a small boat or beach for 2-5 days. You tell lots of stories. Communication may be awkward and sparse at first; but those walls always break.

What is the One Ring that rules us all?

The cell phone.