New Year

Just for clarification--no, I'm not getting married; nor anything near it.

My possible new blog that I am thinking of creating is a commentary on relationships and things I learn about in school. It's basically and effort to help me to do better in school. Because the more I discuss the things I learn, the more proficient at them I become.

But as for now--I have yet to do it, but I will let you know if I do.

It's a new year!

There are obviously things I would like to change in my life and I think the new year is a great time to make new resolutions and goals.

I had a whole paragraph I wanted to go into about goals and life--but I'm just not feeling it tonight.




But I would like to say. I went snowboarding! And it is amazing. I can't believe I waited 4 years at BYU before I went. Though it's probably a good thing; because if I had learned to love skiing/snowboarding I am 100% positive I would never have left McCall and come back to school.

I am taking a ski class at BYU (we go to Sundance from 12-5 every Tuesday) which means I also have the same time off class on Thursday--which means more boarding for me!

I have made it a goal to on Tuesday and Thursday both--but never to ditch class to go. I have been 4 times this year. When I went on Jan 1 with some friends from my ward I though I was making a big mistake taking the class. Odd--I had the same thought my very first day of training when I was rafting.


My last thought for the night comes from some facebook correspondence I've been having with some random kayaker chic from Purdue. (She randomly came across my page from a friend of a friend somehow and sent me a message) Our conversation starting with rafting, but quickly evolved into this deep relationship oriented discussion. Which I seem to bring that out in everyone I talk to. I know speaking of past relationship is a big taboo on dates (early dates especially) but it is something I also get a girl to do. Minus one, but she frustrates me on more than one level. Anyway-- one particular thing she said, of which I am curious to hear some response to... She said, "As women we love to be pursued..."

Actually upon re-reading her email, I think the whole paragraph needs to be included.

"A large proponent of a successful relationship is the pursuit. As women we love to be pursued by our significant other. It’s the engrained fairy tale story from when we were children. This starts from the initial meeting and continues usually all the way until marriage. After a year or two people become lazy and forget that primal need, to be pursued, to feel needed, to feel special, to be desired, to feel intense passion for someone. I believe that both men and women have these needs just a different levels. Sometimes the pursuit is lost earlier, before marriage. This is an indicator that a person is not ready for what I like to call commitment."

The Pursuit.

I like that. When I write my book on relationships I'm going to dedicate a chapter to 'The Pursuit' and maybe more.

There is a lot of truth, well stated, in that wanting to be pursued--but one must realize that there is also a need to catch as well.

Finals!

I could possibly be making a new blog-- I guess it will depend if I get kicked out of school this semester or not.

Until Friday, I wait. (And by that I mean not sleep and study)

Much like there is a great Circle of Life there is a great relationship Circle of Growth. The basics of it are:
We like to stay in a comfortable/safe spot. When one person gets bored the relationship is pushed from the safe spot into the Circle of Growth. There isn't anything the other partner can do about it; the relationship has already moved to a new place. Once out of the comfort circle there are 3 options:
1, pretend it never happened and go back to same comfort level as before;
2, end the relationship because it is just to great a change;
3, grow together, increase commitment and trust, after which the larger circle then becomes the new circle of comfort and safety.



And to answer your unanswered question. Yes, I am using this post as a mode of studying.

Thanksgiving!

On this day of Thanksgiving I would like to take time to express thanks for a few things I don't normally do enough.

Firstly-- I am thankful for God.
Several weeks my ward had ward conference. It was, in fact, one of the best conferences I have ever attended. In it, our Bishop and Stake President both spoke about getting to know God. The gist of it is; To know Him, is to spend time with Him. This principle is true in getting to know God, but is also true in developing relationships with people--and also one that I have been applying in my effort to be a more sociable person this year.

Out bishop listed 5 keys to getting to know God:

1. Daily prayer
2. Daily scripture study
3. Daily act of service
4. Daily acknowledge God's divinity
5. Increase your obedience Daily.

I have always been a fan of lists. I like to know where I stand and what I need to improve on. I have this list hanging on my bathroom mirror.

I am thankful for Christ.

I am thankful for my parents.

I am thankful for my friends.

Angst, Angst Go Away.

So for two weeks I have been incredibly feisty. I thought it was worry over class or being sick.

I'm not worrying about class, nor am I sick anymore--yet I was still feisty.

The only thing I new to do was continue forward on the last course that felt right. But in this course I could not help but feel something to be amiss.

And in just a few moments--paradoxically both brief and gut-wrenchingly long-- I found myself moving from familiar territory to stepping off the edge, hoping the waves caused by my splash would carry me to shore.

They did.




What caused these waves-- an attempt at a dramatic exit along with stating,

"I do not play second fiddle."





But, oh how I love being first chair ;)



P.S. Angst is gone. Nice Quintin is back.

One Ring to Rule Them All.

The title and topic of most of this post refers to my Forming Marital Relationships' class discussions this week.

But before I get into that, I have several comments:

1. I was called a slut this week. First time in my life. It was an interesting experience. But apparent proof that my experiment at being more social this semester is working; perhaps too well.

2. I find it is, indeed, addicting playing with a yearly budget and making my finances work into it; or rather wanting to pull my hair out because I don't know how they will. Either way--it's nice when the debt monster is no longer giving me an ulcer.


Anyway-- I absolutely love my classes this semester AND I'm doing all my homework/reading/attending classes. The latter being a huge deal for me; and also part of my little experiment. Though one of my favorites is the Forming Marital Relationship class; solely because of the discussion that we have in the class. Which reminds me of my third comment:

3. I was called a conservative for my beliefs on marriage. Especially funny for anyone that has had a discussion with me in my adult life. And even more funny because I don't see how views on the prerequisites for marriage or either conservative or liberal.

Back to my class. This week we've been talking about committing to a relationship. My professor consistently states, "There is something to be said about the commitment and dedication needed and shown by people who stay married; despite their difficulties." I don't disagree. All relationship require dedication and commitment--if they are going to last.

Where I do start to disagree with my professor is when he says it is a lot of work to stay married to someone you don't get along with. That doing good to those that hate you and spitefully use you isn't referring to your enemies, but to your spouse.

Are there are times where this is the case; of course. Should this be the norm? I sure as hell hope not. If it is; then an eternity with someone I don't get along with sure sounds a lot like hell and very little like heaven.

It is interesting to me and worth noting, that along with ever major technological and religious revolution the world changes--and with it, either because it is a factor of this change or a result. so do our relationships. The changes in the last 50 years have been the spread of secularism in our country, and obviously computers. Communications would be a third huge change, though at this point communication and computers are practically the same. Basically the spread of computers (tv, cell phones, internet) drastically reduce our family time. In fact, the amount of time spent together, and solely together, as a couple has gone down 2 standard deviations since 1980.

What did people do before T.V.? They talked and told stories. Why do I love being stuck in Riggins Idaho for 3+ months every year. There is no T.V. We read, we tell storied. We really get to know each other. That why I have met some of my best friends there. Especially on over night trips. You are trapped on a small boat or beach for 2-5 days. You tell lots of stories. Communication may be awkward and sparse at first; but those walls always break.

What is the One Ring that rules us all?

The cell phone.

Summer's over :( and back to school :/

(Was supposed to be posted the last week of August--but I forgot)

The summer is practically over; in fact, I had planned for it to be over for me today. We all know things don't always go as planned, but here I am-- still in Idaho making sure things run smoothly. And I'm so sad to have to be in Riggins for a few more days. (Insert sarcasm) Though I am a little nervous about not knowing where I will be living once the semester starts, I am glad to have an excuse to stay in Riggins longer.

On a fan-freaking-tastic note I learned that I *will* be getting Pell grants.
I am going to testify to you for here. 1-- Karma. It will always come back to you. So tip and treat people well. 2-- Pay your tithing. A week and a half ago I was thinking about paying my tithing. Looking at it from a strict numbers perspective, I had enough to pay for tuition for the whole year. But after paying tithing I barely had enough for this semester. And then- 10 days later, I got Pell grants :P


On a sad note-- My beard is gone :(

And I miss it.

Prom!

Tonight was the SRE Prom. (Salmon River Experience, our main competition)

So we all dressed in whatever stuff we had around.

Chris and I made it really classy in suits and ties.

Plus I thought I'd just include a nice picture of me looking guidey.